|
Jackson has no LAWS
Proverbs |
|
Home is home, as the devil said when he found himself in the Court of Session. |
|
English |
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless paid for. |
English |
A client twixt his attorney and counsellor is like a goose twixt two foxes. |
English |
A good lawyer, an evil neighbor. |
English, French, Spanish |
Preachers purge the conscience, doctors the body, lawyers the purse. |
German |
Lawyers and soldiers are the devil's playmates. |
German |
Go to law for a sheep and lose your cow. |
German |
A lawyer and a wagon-wheel must be well greased. |
German |
New laws are followed by new tricks. |
German |
The better lawyer, the worse Christian. |
Dutch |
"Virtue is in the middle," said the devil, as he sat down between two lawyers. |
|
Danish |
Lawyers and painters can soon change black to white. |
Danish |
One goes to court with one lawsuit and comes home with two. |
Danish |
Love all men—but not lawyers. |
Italian |
A lawsuit is a fruit-tree planted in a lawyer's garden. |
Italian |
A bad agreement is better than a good lawyer. |
Italian |
The priest's friend loses his faith, the doctor's his health, the lawyer's his fortune. |
Venetian |
A happy death is better than a lawsuit. |
Spanish |
It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. |
Spanish |
A peasant between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. |
Catalan |
Law is a flag and gold is the wind that makes it wave. |
Russian |
When God wanted to chastise man He invented lawyers. |
Russian |
It's better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law. |
Sex Laws
If a police officer in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, suspects a couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times, and wait two minutes before being allowed to approach the scene.
*****************************
Women must address bachelors as master instead of mister, according to an Illinois state law.
*****************************
A law in Oblong, Illinois makes it a crime to make love while fishing or hunting on your wedding day.
*****************************
A law in Fairbanks, Alaska, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
*****************************
In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
*****************************
Clinton, Oklahoma, has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
*****************************
In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.
*****************************
In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
*****************************
Hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, are required by law to furnish their rooms with twin beds only. There should be a minimum of two feet between the beds, and it is illegal for a couple to make love on the floor between the beds.
*****************************
In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
*****************************
A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.
*****************************
No woman may go in public without wearing a corset in Norfolk, Virginia.
*****************************
In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (including the wedding night)
*****************************
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
*****************************
In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.
*****************************
In Ames, Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.
*****************************
A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines.
*****************************
In Bozeman, Montana, you can't perform any sexual acts in the front yard of any home, after sundown, and if you are nude.
*****************************
A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance on a saloon table unless her clothing weighs more than three pounds, two ounces.
*****************************
Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.
*****************************
Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.
*****************************
During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.
*****************************
In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
*****************************
In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.
*****************************
In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
|
